Turnabout Torturers
by Peoplepersonsof DooM
Summary: Phoenix,Maya,Mia,Godot,Franziska,Edgeworth,and Larry are all gonna go to hell! No, seriously they're going on a road trip to hell. Why? Dahlia Hawthorne of course! "You can't punish the dead." They plan to prove her wrong...it's payback time. Incomplete.
1. An Interesting Idea

Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright. Wish I did. Oh and I warn you this is on crack. :)

CH.1 An Interesting Idea.

The days seemed to slow down after the murder of Misty Fey, mother to Mia and Maya Fey. A rather painful experience for those involved Maya, Mia, Pearl, Godot, and

of course Phoenix. Why did this occur? It was all because of _that_ women. That she-devil, Dahlia Hawthorne. Even from the pits of hell she still caused anguish in other

people's lives, all for her selfish goal. You still have to wonder why...

It was a rather quiet day at Wright & Co. Law Offices. Phoenix Wright ace attorney, recalled these events. He tried to turn his back on the past and look towards the

future but, his attempts were futile. He wanted revenge on Dahlia Hawthorne badly, but Phoenix knew that the dead could not be punished. She had said so

herself. But a thought lingered in his head, a ridiculous thought. What if he could make his way to hell, to torment Dahlia, just like she had done everyone else? He

shrugged it off, It was a stupid idea. But..maybe there was a way...

"Hey Maya, I have a question."

"Huh, what is it Nick?"

"Is it..um..possible... to go to hell and back?"

"..."

"..."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"Erk! U-uh n-never mind!"

"Of course there is!"

"! Really? You're not pulling my leg?"

"Yeah, there is but I'm not sure how to do it yet, I'm still training you know. But my sis may know how to. Why would you want to go there anyway?"

"...Because of _her_."

"...I see. I WANNA GO TOO! YOU'D BETTER NOT LEAVE ME OUT!"

Phoenix began to sweat. "Y-You want to come?"

"YEAH! It'd be fun! Plus we could meet Satan! In the flesh!" said Maya fists pumping.

Phoenix gulped. Clearly, this wasn't his idea of fun. "Alright you can come but, I won't be meeting with Satan!"

"WOO! You don't know what you'll be missing out on, Nick." Her eyes glistened with excitement.

"Hmm. Can you call on Mia for me?" Phoenix asked.

"Sure, hold on."

The girl clad in a strange outfit suddenly became a grown women clad in an odd outfit. A grown women with boobs.

"Hello, Phoenix. I didn't think we'd meet again so soon." said Mia smiling.

"Hey Chief. I..was sorta wondering if you knew..how to get to hell."

Mia expression became grim. " Phoenix..you seriously don't want to-"

" I certainly do. I mean come on! She mentally scarred you, poisoned your boyfriend, framed me for murder, almost killed me, killed someone else, tried to kill Maya while in possession of your mother's body, caused your boyfriend to kill your mother, and caused him to be sent to jail. And your perfectly ok with this?!"

"...Hmm, you make a good point. I can get you to hell by using my spiritual powers to open a portal."

"That's it?" Phoenix asked, surprised.

"Pretty much. But we may need to make reservations and get transportation."

"...What?! Reservations for hell?! What the hell?! AND transportation?!"

"Yeah that's the way it's always been for visitors, and we certainly can't walk over hot coal can we?"

"Darn, I don't have anyway other way to get to places besides walking. I don't suppose there are buses or trains in hell."

"Well bring someone that can drive a car, and anyone else that wants revenge or to annoy. The more the merrier."

"Hm... great! I think I have some people in mind. Thanks a lot chief!"

"I'll see you soon Phoenix."


	2. Stranger In The Red Sports Car

Ch.2 Stranger In The Red Sports Car

With a smile Mia left and Maya returned.

"So what's the plan, Nick?"

"...Well we need to get transportation for one thing, and I know just who to ask. Let's go."

"Huh where are we going?"

"To find Edgeworth!"

30 minutes later at the prosecutor's office...

"Hello? Mr. Edgeworth? Yooohoooo? " asked Maya.

No answer. Hmm. The room appeared to be normal. A ridiculous amount of fancy books, Steel Samurai memorabilia, chess board (how intellectual!) , pink couch, pink curtains, broken flower vase with flowers on the floor, tea cups... a broken flower vase? That ain't normal...

"Wright! What are you doing here?!" A man appeared suddenly holding a cup of tea in one hand, saucer in the other.

"Ah! U-uh Edgeworth!...um... Edgeworth?" asked Phoenix hesitantly.

"What?"

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt or suit jacket?"

It was quite an odd sight. No suit, no jacket, but frills were donned around his neck...

"...None of your business." replied Edgeworth blushing slightly. "Look I have no time to deal with the likes of you. Leave NOW."

"B-but I have to-"

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

"OOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHH!" Phoenix screeched. He clearly felt the burn.

Edgeworth smirked slightly witnessing the pain of his "friend". He wasn't doing that for long..

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK!

"OOW!" said Edgeworth dropping his cup, spilling tea all over the hard wood floor.

"Ms..Von Karma?" asked Maya very confused and afraid.

And there she was holding the legendary, unmistakable whip looking very angry, as though she could hand out more whippings. Gulp.

"Hphm. Foolish fools who foolishly act foolish thinking foolishly!"

CRACK!

"Ow! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! It was Nick's idea!" yelled an upset Maya who had just been struck hard.

"Um n-never m-m-mind! We'll just be on our way!"

"...Dare I ask why you dropped by?" asked Edgeworth.

"W-well it's... kinda out there...but can... you, you, drive us to...hell?"

"..."

"..."

"You are a foolish fool who foolishly dreams a fool's foolishly foolish dream!"

"Wright, I knew you were insane in the membrane.. But have you lost ALL of your marbles?!"

"...maybe you lost all of yours based on this scene..." Snicker snicker.

"Care to repeat that?"

"What? I didn't say anything.." Spiky replied. _I was supposed to say that in my head... _

"B-but Mr. Edgeworth! It's true! You can go to hell we just need you to drive! We're going to annoy Ms. Hawthorne!" said Maya seriously.

"Are you kidding me? You've lost it. You can't punish the dead! You are going to have to cope with what happened!"

"...Objection! If you don't help me I'll..I'll tell everyone what you and Ms. Von Karma were doing in here!"

CRACK!

"Well what were we doing?!" asked Franziska.

"Take that! A broken flower vase and the fact the Edgeworth is not wearing a shirt is very suggestive!" shouted Phoenix presenting evidence.

"...Fine! I'll do it! I never thought you would never sink so low for something so utterly stupid!" said an extremely pissed off Edgeworth. He turned to Franziska who was fuming. "No matter how many times you whip him nothing will deter him."

"Grr...Damn you Phoenix Wright! You waste our time!"

CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRRRAAAAAAACK!!

With this our protagonist was temporarily whipped unconscious for a good 10 minutes.


	3. Happy Together?

Hello everyone! Thanks for all of the reviews, they're what keep me going. Some people like Dahlia or don't, it makes no difference. I'm sure everyone likes at least one evil or crazed person right? I'll post chapters faster promise :).

Ch.3 Happy Together?

After the whippings, ten minutes later our hero Phoenix Wright awoke. Not necessarily in a good state, but still awake.

"Hey Nick! Get up so we can go!" said Maya.

"Uh, go where?" asked Phoenix.

"Go to hell!" responded Maya.

"...That wasn't nice. You don't like me either..." said Phoenix frowning.

She sighed. "You said you wanted to go to hell to torture Dahlia Hawthorne. Remember?"

"Oh Yeah! I was whipped so bad I forgot. But before we go..there's one more person we need to see."

"And who would this be, Wright?" asked Edgeworth.

"Prosecutor Godot." Spiky said smirking.

Another 30 minutes later...at the detention center.

"Hey Mr. Guard! Can we see Mr. Armando?" asked Maya who was somewhat jumpy.

The guard walked over and there you could see that...

"LARRY?! You're a guard? AGAIN? I thought you were an artist?" questioned Phoenix.

"Dude, chill out. I'm still an artist, but this is just my second job." Larry said grinning. "Hey Franziska I still want you to be my model..."

In response Franziska cracked her whip, glaring daggers at Larry.

"Eep! Maybe another time..."

"So Larry can we see Mr. Armando?" asked Maya.

"Yeah, sure. Just give me a second."

Larry left for about a minute, he returned with our favorite coffee addicted prosecutor.

"Hello Mr. Armando."

"Trite? Why are you here..?"

"Aren't you the man that hated Dahlia Hawthorne the most?" asked Phoenix.

"That women took everything away from me...she's just as dark as Godot blend 107."

"Well we are going to find her! For revenge!" screeched an excited Maya.

"...But she's dead."

"Well you said you've been to hell right? That's where we're going. Care to join?"

"...The way a bird sits peacefully in its cage expecting nothing to happen, until a cat devours it!"

"Um I don't understand." Everyone agreed at that point.

" Trite, I'm in jail. In a cell. How do you expect me to leave my confinement without punishment?"

"OO! I know! I know!" shouted an excited Larry.

Phoenix didn't like where this was going. "Larry there's no way..."

"YES THERE IS! I'M NOT A LOSER ANYMORE NICK! I could get my supervisor to let him out!"

"Um, Larry hows that?" asked a confused Maya.

"She's the love of my duh! I know she'd give me one favor or two."

_Oh God another woman. I hope he knows what he's doing. But..whatever works. _Thought Phoenix.

"Lemme go ask! I'll just say your going on a crime scene field trip!"

With this Larry disappeared behind the door.

"That fool is determined is he not?" asked Franzsika.

"I guess he really feels bad and wants to change the error of his ways." replied Phoenix.

"Hmph we'll see about that." said a cranky Edgeworth.

Larry returned looking his happiest.

"HA! You can go. But on one condition."

"Which is...?" asked Phoenix.

"I have to come along too!" said Larry.


	4. Title Too Long

Author note:

Hey everyone. I'm really, really, sorry I haven't posted any new chapters in like forever. My life has been pretty hectic, but

since I'm out of school I'll be able to post chapters more frequently. Yay for summer!

* * *

Ch.4 Over The Stairs And Across The Carpet To Hell We Go!

Everyone stood still, blank expressions..that still managed to be read as "Larry come with us??".

"Um are you sure you want to do this?" asked Phoenix who was sweating bullets.

"Nick I'm so ready! I'm gonna bring my sketch book, so I can draw the pits of hell!" screeched Larry with excitement.

_Wow he's not phased by the fact that we're going to really go to hell. That's Larry for you._ Thought Phoenix.

"Well let's get going. I don't like being here when I don't have to be." said Edgeworth still annoyed.

"The fun will start soon." said Godot chugging his coffee down walking out of the cell.

"Hey Nick, how are we gonna get there anyway?" asked Maya.

"Hmm. Can you call Mia back?" asked Phoenix.

"Ok!" said Maya nodding.

"Need help again, Phoenix Wright?" asked Mia.

"Um. You don't have to say my full name. It's sort of creepy. But, anyway how do we get to hell?"

"Ah we need to visit Kurain Village so I can open a portal."

"Alright, let's go!" said Phoenix.

There was a pause once Mia and Godot eyes met...Kind of.

"..Mia?"

"Diego..." smiled Mia.

"Aww..." said Larry.

CRACK!

"Auhah!" he yelled

"Don't ruin the moment you fool."

After minutes of MiaxGodot, our group finally reached their destination at Kurain Village...in Edgeworth's car...

"Ok. I've already made the reservations for the 8th circle of hell. I'm opening the portal in that temple over there." Mia said pointing to the right.

"How exactly do we get my car in??" asked Edgeworth still not believing this nonsense.

"Oh you're so trivial, Miles. You just drive into the temple." She said smiling and walking into the temple.

Edgeworth stared at her as if she had three heads. "This is madness!"

"Madness? This is SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"...Wright. Shut the hell up."

"Sorry, I was supposed to say it in my head." Phoenix said grinning and rubbing the back of his head.

Mia walked out of the temple. "Ok! The portal is open, we have to go before it closes."

Everyone piled into the Edgeworth mobile back to their very odd positions...at least four people were in odd positions.

"Larry can you please get off of me?" asked Phoenix who was very uncomfortable.

"But Nick! Where would I go?" said Larry who was sitting on Phoenix's lap.

"How bout you sit in the trunk? Or we tie you to the top of the car?."

"You're so cruel, I thought we were friends! I'm not moving!"

Phoenix was resisting the urge to kill Larry, when...

"...Hey, uh Mia isn't that Maya's body you're using to make out with Mr. Armando?" asked Phoenix.

"She won't know." Said Mia who was sitting on Godot's lap kissing him.

_ If she wants her body back then yes, she will know... _Thought Phoenix.

CRACK!

"Miles start driving now! I tire of these antics!"

"Why do I put up with you? Damned Von Karmas..." asked Edgeworth who began to drive into the temple.

The sports car ran over a few wooden stairs and over a pretty carpet, and into the blue shiny and swirly portal.


	5. Welcome TO HELL!

CH.5 Welcome To Hell!

"Good job, Miles! NOW DRIVE!" said Mia.

Edgeworth shocked that it was actually possible to get to hell, slowly put his foot on the gas. He was driving on a road paved in red cobblestones above a navy blue sky. It was a rocky ride or rocky road, teehee. Anyways, on the sides of the road, there stood burnt trees and giant billboards...advertising walmart, Dr. Phil, plastic surgery, Barney, McDonalds, ect.

"Why do I have to drive this fast??" questioned Edgeworth driving at 75 mph.

"The worst drivers are here, silly." smiled Mia. "If you hadn't started driving you would have been crushed by that monster truck behind us."

"What? I never saw..oh." He looked in his rear view mirror to see a large, beat up, Ford Explorer that had the head of beast on the hood.

"Woah, dude, I need to draw that!" Uhoh. Larry got into his artist mode.

Phoenix twitched as the man sitting on him squirmed while looking out the open window.

_'This is the perfect opportunity!' _Thought phoenix.

"TAKE THAT!" screeched Phoenix as he pushed poor Larry out the window. "YES!!"

"Wow, Trite I wouldn't have expected that from you." said Godot as he stopped making out with Mia.

"Phoenix Wright actually does something intelligent!" smirked Franziska.

"You are so sadistic. Wright, that man was an imbecile, a loser, and waste of time but, I don't condone what you just did!"

"Hold it! I think I hear something moving! Larry?" asked Mia.

"DUDE, HELP ME I'M ON THE ROOF!" yelled Larry that was spazing out.

"Damn it." muttered Phoenix. "So close."

Edgeworth immediately hit the button to open the sun roof causing Larry to fall back on to Phoenix.

"WHY'D YOU DO THAT!? I COULD HAVE DIED OR WORSE LOST MY SKETCH PAD!! I NEARLY CAUGHT FIRE!!" rambled Larry.

Phoenix only sighed, knowing he would have to put up with the rants until the trip was over. This was going to be a long day. Or night. Or whatever the hell time it was.

About two hours later...

"WHY ARE WE FRIENDS?! I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND-EEP!"

Larry was stopped by the crack of the fiercest whip created.

"Fool, say another word and I'll make you wish that you died on the roof!"

At this notion Larry never said another word.

"Hey Frills, this trip is lacking in flavor like Godot blend 26. How bout we listen to music?"

"Fine, but I'd appreciate if wouldn't call me 'frills.' " Edgeworth turned on the radio only to hear...

_Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco  
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo.  
You could see me, you can't squeeze me._

"..." said everyone.

"I never knew you were into this type of music, Edgeworth." said Phoenix trying to hold in his laughter.

"I- I don't listen to this! I listen to rock!" he said blushing.

"BWAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA! NOW THAT'S HILARIOUS!" laughed Larry.

_I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy.  
I got reasons why I tease 'em.  
Boys just come and go like seasons._

_Fergalicious (so delicious)  
But I ain't promiscuous.  
And if you was suspicious,  
All that s is fictitious.  
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)  
That puts them boys on rock, rock.  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)  
_  
_So delicious (it's hot, hot)  
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)  
So delicious (they wanna taste of what I got)  
I'm Fergalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)  
_

"Miles, turn this foolishness off!"

"I can't! The stations won't change!"

_Fergalicious def-,  
Fergalicious def-,  
Fergalicious def- _

_Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy.  
They always claim they know me,  
Comin' to me call me Stacy (Hey, Stacy),  
I'm the F to the E, R, G, the I, the E,  
And can't no other lady put it down like me._

_I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)  
My body stay vicious  
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness  
He's my witness (oooh, wee)  
I put yo' boy on rock, rock  
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)_

_So delicious (it's hot, hot)_  
_So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)  
So delicious (they wanna taste of what I got)  
Fergalicious (hold, hold, hold, hold, hold up, check it out)_

_Baby, baby, baby,  
If you really want me,  
Honey get some patience.  
Maybe then you'll get a taste.  
I'll be tasty, tasty,  
I'll be laced with lacey.  
It's so tasty, tasty,  
It'll make you crazy._

_T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty  
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the, hit it Fergie_

"Ok, Edgeworth we all know you _like rock_. NOW CHANGE THE STATION." said Phoenix.

"GRR. Look, Wright the controls aren't working. I can't go to another station!" replied Edgeworth pressing a button to no avail.

"Personally, I love this song." said Godot.

"_..."_

_  
All the time I turn around brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my (uuhh)  
I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up drama, little mama I don't wanna take your man.  
And I know I'm coming off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it.  
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele  
'Cause they say she..._

_Delicious (so delicious)  
But I ain't promiscuous  
And if you was suspicious  
All that s is fictitious  
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)  
That puts them boys on rock, rock  
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)_

"Mia do something!" yelled Phoenix who now had his ears covered.

"Sorry, Phoenix I can't do anything about this."

"Not even offer advice?"

"Nope, I'm out of answers."

"This really is hell."

_Four, tres, two, uno.  
My body stay vicious,  
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness,  
He's my witness (oooh, wee).  
I put yo' boy on rock, rock,  
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)_

_So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty  
It's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)_  
_So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)  
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (aye, aye, aye, aye)_

_T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty. T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty  
T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty. T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)  
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the, E to the, L I C I O U S, to the  
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)_

_T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty. T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty  
T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty. T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno  
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the  
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the, to the, to the... _

Everyone, (besides Godot anyway) breathed a sigh of relief, the horrible song ended. But then came ...

_You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)  
_

"SATAN, KILL ME NOWW!" cried Phoenix.

"I'd be happy to, considering this was your idea!" said Edgeworth.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE A/C?!" whinned Larry.

The car's air conditioning had shut down as the group made it to the third circle of hell, I'd say one hour ago. It was hot. It was steamy. And everyone had stripped down to their undergarments, besides Larry.

"IT'S BROKEN, YOU IMBECILE!" screeched Franziska.

"B-b-but I'm hot.."

"TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES, FOOL!" she yelled as she cracked her whip.

Larry, very afraid stripped down to his boxers. "Well, this is awkward." said Larry.

Think of this. Half naked Larry sitting on half naked Phoenix, whom are sitting next to the half naked Godot and Mia who are STILL making out. And half naked Edgeworth driving and half naked Franziska yelling and cracking her whip... Fan service anyone?

"No one knows the meaning of silence! Darned, I think my time is up. I have to go, guys." said Mia ticked off.

"You have to go, kitten?" frowned Godot.

"Yeah, Maya needs her body or else she'll...die or something like that."

"Wait! How are we going to find the 8th circle?" asked Phoenix.

"Oh you'll figure it out, by the end just like everything else." replied Mia.

"Um, isn't that normally when you encourage me to figure things out after I give up...?"

"Oo, I forgot about that. Well, Maya can help."

"..." said Phoenix.

"Don't worry I'll be back." Mia turned to Godot, whispered something, and gave him one more kiss before leaving.

* * *

DUM DUM DUM... What will happen next? Apollo Justice, maybe?


	6. The Return

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews keep them coming! Those are my motivation.

* * *

Ch.6 The Return

Mia left, bringing more horror to our group. Or Phoenix. Maya came back, and that only meant one thing...

"What's going on? Why is everyone in their underwear? Why are we sitting on people's laps?! And why does my mouth taste like coffee?!"

Phoenix sighed as he began to tell the events that occurred while she wasn't around. This would take some time.

1 hour later...

"NICK YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO LARRY?!"

Phoenix loved Maya like a sister, but at this point he was fully prepared to toss her out of the window as well.

"Hey Nick I'm hungry. Can we go get hamburgers?"

"We are in hell, who knows what they make their food from..." replied Phoenix.

"Oh come on! People here, no matter how bad, people eat regular food."

"Trite, let her go or else I'll give you a bath with Godot blend 28."

Phoenix winced at all those memories in court, coffee thrown at him every day. 2nd and 3rd degree burns. He'd better do what the man said.

"Look there's a McDonald's!" Maya it pointed out on the side of the road.

Edgeworth sighed. This whole thing became more and more ridiculous. But he couldn't be a jerk to Maya, be a jerk to Phoenix yes, Maya no. With that he drove to the

McDonald's.

"YAY YOUR THE BEST, MR. EDGEWORTH!"

Edgeworth blushed.

Everyone decided to put their clothes back on. I mean go to McDonald's in hell with just your undies on?

"Well maybe, we can all get some food while we are here?" suggested Phoenix.

"Not in your life. I will never eat this disgusting grease!" replied Franziska cracking her whip.

"Well at least its one less meal to pay for." Phoenix always, always, ended up paying.

Ironically, the food really was exactly the same as it was on earth. And there were plenty of customers. Mostly overweight. After everyone (except Franziska) ordered

their food, they sat a table and noticed something...

"Have you noticed something?" asked Phoenix

"Like the fact that this coffee SUCKS?!" said an annoyed Godot, who preceded to throw the crappy Mickey D's coffee at Phoenix.

"...At least I can't get any burns...but I meant that guy sitting to far left, he seems familiar."

He did a motion towards a man clad in a green suit.

"That guy in the green? Yeah I've seen him before...hey dude, come over!"

"LARRY, what are you doing? Don't call him over!" screeched Phoenix.

Well it was too late, the man walked over to them...and soon they discovered why he looked so familiar. He was...

"PROSECUTOR PAYNE?!" shouted Edgeworth and Phoenix in unison.

"Fancy seeing you all here...especially Wright. Have you come to ruin my vacation, like my record?!" screeched Payne.

"No." said Phoenix, who's ears were hurting, "Wait. This is your vacation?" asked Phoenix.

"Yes, I always come here for vacations."

"...Jeez, Edgeworth what's going on with the DA?"

"Well why are YOU here!?" screeched Payne.

Everyone covered their ears. "To find Daliah Hawthorne. For revenge." replied Phoenix.

With this Payne's attitude changed. " Well I hope you get her good...that woman was the one of the reasons why I lost my precious hair..."

"Um, would you like to come along?"

"Hell no! I don't want to see that crazy (blank) ever again! I just hope she doesn't get to your head..."

"..."

And with that Winston Payne left Mickey D's.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that.." said Phoenix.

"...Can we leave now?" asked Edgeworth.

With that everyone hit the road for quite a few hours. At least they couldn't hear the radio that much. Payne's aggravating screeching sounds had damaged their ears. But they did manage to pick up bits and pieces to the song "Highway To Hell" and...

"Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety eight bottles of-"

"Maya PLEASE stop, you started at one thousand! You said you would end it by one hundred!" said an exasperated Phoenix.

"But Nick I'm bored!"

"The fool does not need to be bored anymore." said Franziska. "We've made it."

They all looked out of their windows, and sure enough there was the huge sign posted which read 'Welcome to the eighth circle of hell'.

* * *

This is where the real fun begins.. the next chapter...


	7. Long Road to Ruin

AN: Hey dudes it's been awhile hasn't it? Well here is the latest chapter...haven't posted cuz I had a severe case of writer's block. This one is kinda short, its really my writing warm up... count on the next chapter sometime this week.

* * *

Ch.7 Long Road to Ruin

"YAY! WE MADE IT!" yelled Maya excitedly. "I'll have to bring Pearls one of these days."

Phoenix stared at her in disbelief. "Why would you want to expose to Pearl to something like this!?"

"She could meet the devil in the flesh!" said Maya fists pumping. "And maybe she might have a family reunion..her Mom will be down here eventually.."

Phoenix rolled his eyes. "Hey is that a booth? We should see if anyone's around."

Edgeworth drove towards the little booth. He peered through the booth's window and saw a bored scruffy looking man. He was lanky and wore a pair dirty glasses. He was struggling to read a God awful Seventeen magazine.

"Um excuse me?" asked Edgeworth.

"Oh! Hey what's up, man? I don't get many people coming around here." He seemed excited.

"Uh, yeah. We are looking for a Ms. Dahlia Hawthorne, would you happen to know where she is located at?"

"Oo you're the ones with the reservations, I'll take you to her then." He stepped out the booth, probably happy he could move his legs. "My name is Harold by the way. I shall be thy guide!"

Our group got out of the car and followed Harold to their place of interest.. The eighth circle looked pretty much like the other circles of hell. Dilapidated and deplorable conditions all around. It made any third world country look like paradise.

Some parts of the ground were rocky soil, others were plagued with weeds, and in some parts, the ground were made of concrete. The sky was bleak and gray and the day could be described as humid and muggy. The group started to pass by houses..or things that they were forced to call houses. Small shacks, sheds, apartments, and homes that were missing half of their foundation, were in abundance.

After 35 minutes of walking through the valley hell..they found the residence of Dahlia Hawthorne. It was half a house and from the looks of it, it didn't contain much. The only interesting thing about the place was that Dahlia's clothes were being hung to dry from half a porch. There were many panties. Strawberry panties. I'm pretty sure Larry eyed them with interest...

"I guess I should go call Ms. Hawthorne... MS. HAWTHORNE COOMMME OOOUUUT!! NOOOOOWWWWW!" Man Harold had a yell that could rival Payne's scream. The others covered their ears in more pain.

A woman stomped out from behind the house. She was completely filthy, her face, her tress, the rags she donned, her parasol... everything was dirty.

She snarled viciously at Harold. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!" she screeched, eyes flaming. She then noticed our heroes, whom were assessing the situation. "You..."

"They came to see you. Isn't that great?" He smiled.

Dahlia glared at him. "What do you want...? If you want me to ruin your lives some more I'd be happy to."

"Well Dolly, we came to have 'some fun with you.' " Phoenix smirked. "We're going to make your life hell. A real one."

"Hmph. Look Feenie, I'm already in hell you can't do anything to me. So just leave and get off of my property."

"Ahem, if I may?" Harold cleared his throat. "Sorry to disappoint you, but you must abide by our rules Ms. Hawthorne. You must do whatever they want."

"WHAT!? WHY?! I put up with idiots every day, I don't want to deal with them too!" she said anger rising.

The dude shrugged. "Well, if you don't there's a high chance you'll be moved to an even lower circle of hell."

Dahlia growled, face red with anger. "That lousy bastard and his rules..."

"Hey Nick, can we do anything we want?" asked Maya."And not get in trouble for it?"

"It appears so." said Nick thinking of all the possible things he could do.

"Well then..." Maya calmly walked over to Dahlia. She slapped Dahlia in the face. Using only the back of her hand. Dahlia got flung back a couple of feet and a bruise was appearing on her face already.

Everyone was taken back and they stood flabbergasted.

"Holy Jebus! Where on earth.." said Phoenix still in shock.

"The Pink Princess Shining Slap..." said Edgeworth in awe and shock.

Everyone starred at him.

"You watch Pink Princess?" asked Phoenix holding back his laughter.

"SO WHAT IF I DO?!"

"..." They continued to stare.

"Can't I do anything without being criticized?" asked Edgeworth in annoyance.

"Nope." said Larry in response. "Welcome to my world!"

Edgeworth sighed. Forget money for being a prosecutor, he should be compensated for this nonsense...

Dahlia stood up pissed. "You little...I'll kill you like I meant to before!" She started towards Maya.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Going to violate the rules..." said Harold.

"Grrrrr..."

"..That actually felt good!" said Maya smiling.

"You call that good? Watch, fool." Franz went to Dahlia, took out whip, and you know what comes next...

CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!

"That's good." she said smirking.

"Ah.." said Maya watching intently.

"Don't teach her to be sadist, I have enough problems as it is..." said Phoenix exasperated.

"Looks like it burns, even worse than the Tres Bien coffee..." Godot said, commenting on Dahlia's whipping.

Dahlia was now covered in red marks, and she held her body in pain. She swore to God...

"Well technically God..." started Harold.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Dahlia. "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!"

"Just pointing out the obvious." he replied shrugging his shoulders. Man this was entertaining.

"...Who wants to go first?" asked Phoenix ready for some action.

"OO pick me Nick! Pick me!"

Phoenix sighed. "Alright Larry, you can start.." For once Larry wasn't going to annoy him...this would be priceless...

* * *

How will Larry annoy Dahlia? Will Dahlia be able to fight back ever?? Is violence really the answer? Stay tuned for the next installment!


	8. Brings All The Boys

Ch.8 Her Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

Larry somehow got even more excited than he already was. He grinned and did one of his classic thumbs up poses. Everyone watched, as if it were a movie, just waiting to see what would happen next.. Godot dematerialized coffee as he normally does, except this time there's popcorn along with it.

"Hey, can I have some?" asked Phoenix.

Godot shook his head and passed the bag to Maya.

"Hehe thanks, Mr. Armando!" she said happily opening the bag.

Phoenix was mad. How come it was always Maya getting free stuff? If he were a girl he'd be able to get free stuff... And he knew he'd get none because Maya was such a glutton. Poor Feenie...

Larry approached Dahlia. "Hey are you, like, seeing anyone?" he asked.

"L-Larry! Don't go there, she is evil! And Don't you have a girlfriend?!" hissed Phoenix.

"Nick, we all know my girlfriend is gonna dump me eventually, I saw her with another guy. I know you went out with her before...are you jealous?"

Phoenix smacked his forehead in disbelief. "NO I AM NOT JEALOUS. I'M WARNING YOU SHE-"

"Why would I want to be with you..you're miserable!" replied Hawthorne.

"SEE, LARRY DON'T BO-"

"I'm not as miserable as you. And You could use someone reliable to help out, like me." he said doing the thumbs up.

Dahlia and Phoenix growled simultaneously.

"Ok, ok, but can you be my model? I'm an artist in the making! And you could, like represent hell!" he said scratching the back of his head.

Dahlia was starting to get angry and was turning red in the face. " I'm not being your model! Go get another idiot to be your model!" she said arms folded.

Harold shook his head. "Rules.."

Dolly bit down on her lip hard. Her boiling point has going to be reached eventually...

Larry took out his sketch pad and some crayons. Not cheap crayons, mind you. CRAYOLA CRAYONS. Mm crayola... He looked up and down and Dahlia and scribbled on his sketch pad furiously.

"Crayons? Are you serious? Do artists even you use crayons anymore?" asked Edgeworth shaking his head.

"Apparently this artist does." replied Phoenix.

After a dramatic 15 minutes of drawing. Larry finished his work of art. He presented his completed product.

"Well this... is cute?" asked Maya.

"The fool can't even do this right.." said Franz

Godot just smirked.

Phoenix burst out in laughter holding his stomach.

"What the hell...?" asked Edgeworth.

"What, what is it you retards?!" asked Dahlia fuming.

Larry presented his work of art to her. A portrait of Dahlia, in her glory. It depicted Dahlia swinging her parosol with madded hair standing on end, dark, threatening eyes, with dirty and ripped clothing. Not to mention flames and lightening bolts were going off in the background. Very distorted, but very true...

Dahlia was extremely pissed. She was about ready to poke Larry and the rest of the gang's eyes out with her parasol. But then she remembered the rules. And then she gets more pissed. Harold just laughs at her misery.

"So..will you go out with me now?" asked an enthuiastic Larry.

"..." She contained her inner rage.

"Eh, it figures. Too good for me..." Larry sulked off somewhere for at least 20 minutes.

"Where do you think he went?" asked Phoenix somewhat worried.

"Maybe he's meeting with the devil! Or being eaten by a monster!" said Maya fist pumping.

Phoenix began to sweat bullets. That talk should have seemed impossible, complete fiction. But considering the circumstances...the threat seemed real.

"Trite, look up." said Godot.

Phoenix, confused looked up. "What? I don't see-" He paused. "oh...that's Larry for you." He shook his head and sighed.

Everyone else was baffled. "What, what is it?! I'm not going to be left out this time!" said Maya.

"Yes, enlighten us." said Franziska.

Phoenix pointed at Dahlia's house. "Notice anything?"

"...That fool."

Edgeworth just shook his head.

Maya was still confused. "I don't get it.." she said sadly.

"Earlier, when we got here, there were clothes hanging from the porch remember?" asked Phoenix.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with Larry?"

"See any particular article of clothing missing?"

"..." Maya looked up again. "Um.. no."

Phoenix smacked his forehead in irritation. She could be so dense.

"_Her bras and panties are gone..." _he said barely audible, blushing.

"What?"

"Her bras and panties are gone..." he repeated.

"I didn't hear.."

"HER BRAS AND PANTIES ARE GONE!!" he yelled.

"Ohh...PERVERT!" she said. "You should of spoke up!"

"..." Finally...point made. Awkwardly.

"I doubt he went very far..." said Edgeworth.

"Let's hunt him down!" said Maya.

So they started to search for Larry. They all hated Dahlia but stealing undergarments...well either they still hated her. After a few minutes they found Larry alright...

"Larry? What the hell are you doing?" asked Phoenix.

Larry had put on Dahlia's bra over his shirt and was sniffing her panties. Mhmm clorox smell.

"Uh..playing dress up?" he replied grinning cheekily.

"Wow. This is even worth than Edgeworth." said Phoenix.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Wright?" he questioned irked.

"You run around wearing a pink suit, looking like you're from the 1700th century."

"..You know what I'm not even going to reply."

"Foolish fool." said Franz cracking her whip.

"LARRY HOW COULD YOU!?" yelled Maya.

Godot took a sip of coffee. "You're messing with the wrong woman..."

Just then Dahlia appeared in a cloud of dust and flame. "MY...PANTIES...MY...BRAS...YOU BASTARD!!" She was lunging towards Larry at a fast rate.

Larry took off running. The others watched as she chased after him for at least one mile.

"Larry actually did pretty well...who wants to go next?" asked Phoenix smirking.

"MEE I'LL GO!" said Maya.

Oh god. Phoenix might actually feel bad for Dahlia now. Psyche.


	9. The Pink Princess Attacks

I have returned after a terrible case of writers block and school work! Hope you enjoy this!

Ch.9 The Pink Princess Attacks!

Dahlia finally caught up to Larry and nearly beat him to a pulp before Harold brought up the Devil's guidelines again...

"Graawwwwlll...." she roared with flaming demonic eyes.

"Jeez, dude I see why you dumped her now..." said Larry regaining his composure.

Phoenix smirked and turned to Maya. "So what do you plan on doing?" he queried.

Maya looked up towards the sky for a moment or two. She grinned. "I'm going back to Mr. Edgeworth's car, I'll be right back!" She trotted off.

"Huh?" said Edgeworth.

"Huh?" said Phoenix.

"Huh?" said Larry.

"Isn't it obvious she has something stored in your car, Frills?" asked Godot sipping coffee.

"...Why is it always my car? I bet it will turn out to be some murder weapon...AGAIN." Edgeworth said placing his face in his hands.

"Fool, don't you have locks on your car?" questioned Franziska.

"At one time I did.."

Maya skipped back with an assortment of items in her hand. A very unusual assortment...

For one she held a red muffler, bloody knives, a camera, a taser, a parrot, and a Steel Samurai costume.

Phoenix stared wide eyed. "Do I want to know...?"

Maya grinned.

"Isn't this evidence from previous cases...?" asked Edgeworth.

"Yep!" said Maya happily.

"How did you get this stuff?!" asked Phoenix.

"Detective Gumshoe-"

"....I'm going to have to cut his salary again." Edgeworth remarked. "But more importantly when and how did you put this into my car?"

Maya just smiled.

Edgeworth growled. "I told you about locks, fool." laughed Franziska.

"But wait, I don't remember seeing those...panties. Are they um, yours, Maya?" asked Phoenix awkwardly.

"Hmm? Oh these..I have no idea where these came from. And Nick, I have much better tastes than that." replied Maya.

Phoenix blushed.

Suddenly a timid voice could be heard. "Um, uh, those panties..."

"Huh? Do they belong to you?" asked Maya.

"WHAT! NO! They belong to someone I know..." the man wore red outfit, bracelet, and had spikey hair.

"Oh...okay.." said Maya suspiciously as she returned the panties to the dude.

"Thanks." he said rubbing the back of his head and walking off.

"...Wait, wasn't that...?" Phoenix was puzzled. "I thought he's supposed to come in later...?"

"You know Nick, he acts sorta like you." giggled Maya. "Looks, like you too."

Larry gasped. "OMG! That was the son you'll have with Edgeworth!"

"........................................................................................................" said everyone.

"Think about it, dude! Acts like Nick, dresses like Nick, but he has Edgeworth's eyes!" Larry breathed for a second before ranting again. "THAT IS YOUR LOVE CHILD!" he screeched.

Godot, Franziska, and Maya busted out laughing.

Phoenix and Edgeworth started beating the living crap out of Larry.

Dahlia laughed.

ZAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!

Dahlia fell over in pain and agony. "YEOOOOOWOOOOWWWWW!"

"You have no right to laugh." said Maya holding a taser in hand.

"You've sank to Von karma level..." said Phoenix. He shook his head. "That's his electric taser isn't it?"

"Shhh." she said taking a picture of Dahlia with a camera. "Heh heh heh just wait until I post these online...

" Um, why did you bring the other things like the knives, the Steel Samurai suit, and Polly??" Phoenix asked apprehensively.

"Oh right! I forgot." she said. Maya picked up Polly. "Polly, Polly, is there anything we've forgotten?"

The bird replied. " Dahlia Hawthorne is a %&$#$!"

Everyone stood dumbstruck.

"Y-y-you t-teached it how t-to...." said Edgeworth.

Maya smirked.

"This continues to get more and more interesting." remarked Godot.

"Hey, Nick hold these!" Maya yelled passing Phoenix a bunch of bloody knives.

Phoenix got skirmish instantly. "Why can't you hold them!?"

Maya put on the Steel Samurai costume. "Okay, now you can give them to me." she said extending her hands.

Phoenix slowly and fearfully passed her the knives.

"Now I must vanquish the evil villain! Samurai kunai spin!" Maya yelled throwing a bunch of bloodly knives at Dahlia. Dahlia ducked and dodged, until one knife pinned her to a wall.

"Darned, I was aiming higher. Oh, well." said Maya. "I'm finished...for now." she grinned maliciously.

Dahlia was still pinned to the wall in shock.

No one ever suspected that Maya was capable of that....

Everyone is horrified, except for Franziska who is very proud.

"Uh...well..who wants to go next...?" asked Phoenix paralyzed with fear.

"Hm I bet sis wants to go." said Maya. And with that Maya left and Mia returned....


	10. Guess Who's back? Back Again

Ch.10 Guess Who's Back? Back Again...

In the blink of an eye, the teenage girl became the woman we all know and love.

"Busty glory is here!" yelled Phoenix excitedly.

Mia stared at Phoenix.

"Uh, hi boss." said Phoenix frightened. He remembered part of his training at Mia's law firm..

Insert random unnecessary flashback.

"PHOENIX BARTHOLEMUE WRIGHT!" screeched the boobs. Uh, Mia I mean.

Phoenix cowered in fear in the corner of the office. Oh no. The middle name. "Y-yes b-b-boss?" He squeaked.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WATER CHARLEY?!" she boomed.

"I-I forgot!" whimpered Phoenix.

"AND YOU DIDN'T CLEAN THE TOLIETS!" she said as she proceeded to take one of the heavy law books set on a case down.

"B-boss l-let's be reasonable..."

"ROOOOAAARRRRR!" Mia threw the book at him alright. For a direct hit too.

End.

Phoenix winced at the horrible memory. There were more like that one too. Man, she was at her worst during those times of the month.

"Well have you guys been having fun? Sorry I had to miss some of the action." said Mia smiling.

"Ms. Fey." said Godot smirking.

"Mr. Armando." Mia smiled back.

Phoenix wondered if they'd make out again. Yeah, probably.

"It's your turn, kitten." said Godot.

"Oh, is it?" asked Mia chuckling.

"MIA FEYYY..." hissed Dahlia.

"...I still win." said Mia turning to Dahlia smirking.

Dahlia looked like she wanted to explode like a volcano.

"No matter what, you'll always lose to me." said Mia.

"GRRRRRRR...."

"I'll challenge you right now and I bet you won't defeat me here either."

"What's the challenge?" grunted dahlia.

"Let's fight. You and me. One on one." said Mia in a serious tone.

The rest of our gang was in shock.

"Boss! Your gonna fight here in hell? In MAYA'S BODY? AND CLOTHES?" asked Phoenix incredulously.

"Don't worry," she smiled. "I won't harm Maya's body. I got this."

Larry was excited. "CAT FIGHT!"

CRACK!

"Ow!!" he screeched covering his head with his hands.

"Silence fool. You're detracting from this moment." said Franziska.

Edgeworth shook his head in shame.

The only one who was chilled out about this whole thing was Godot.

"Relax." he said sipping his cup of coffee. "She knows what she's doing."

"Well, it looks like I'll be referee." said Harold stepping up from the shadows. "Here's where you will engage in battle." he said pointing directly in front of Dahlia house.

The opponents walked to spot directed by Harold.

In stood between the two. "Get ready."

Dahlia took her fighting stance and so did Mia.

"GO!" said Harold getting out of the way.

Dahlia lunged towards Mia at a fast pace. But Mia didn't blink, didn't move a muscle.

Dahlia was going in for a jab, but Mia grabbed her by the arm and threw her to the ground. She then jumped on Dahlia and attempted to pin her down, but in a flurry of movement Dahlia kicked Mia in the stomach.

Strangely enough it started to rain.

Dahlia tried to go for a direct hit to the face, but Mia recovered and pulled Dahlia by her strawberry tress. She slammed Dahlia back to the ground, and pinned up her down.

Harold ran and started to count. "1...2...."

Dahlia tried to wiggle free to no avail. Mia just smacked Dolly across the face. Dahlia didn't stop she got the strength to reverse the positions and now she was pinning down Mia.

"I will have my revenge!"

The on lookers watch with interest. Especially Phoenix and Larry.

"OMG." they said in unison.

"WOOOTT! That's entertainment! Hot and Wet enterntainment!" yelled Larry.

Phoenix smacked his forehead. "I hope Mia will win this thing, Maya will be in for some pain."

Larry made his radio magically appear in thin air and started to play the song "Girl Fight".

Back to the brawl.

The pair had been getting tired out, neither one giving in. "Dahlia," Mia panted. "I'll tell you why I won't lose to you now."

She had Dahlia pinned down tight this time. "Grrrrr.."

"I've never lost to you before!"

Harold goes in for the count. "1...2......3!"

"Winner, the beautiful Mia Fey!"

Mia stands up triumphantly, tired, wet, and bruised.

'Maya isn't gonna be happy.' thought Phoenix.

Larry was at his happiest all the day, after seeing an actual cat fight.

Godot and Mia started making out again.

Dahlia was lying on ground.

Franziska was laughing hysterically.

And Edgeworth, being the only sane person there shook his head in disbelief.

"Who shall go next?" asked Phoenix.

"I will."

All heads turn to Edgeworth.

"I'm making her pay, for having you idiots drive me down her and ensue this-this madness."

Phoenix opened his mouth.

"And if you make another reference to 300, Wright..."

Phoenix grinned sheepishly.

What will happen next tiiiimmmmeeeee? To be continued.


	11. The New Steve Wilkos

Author Note: Hey folks. I'm not so sure I like this chapter so much. Please tell me what you think of it because I may revise it. I think I'll be raising the rating of this story to T. And lastly, if you don't know who Steve Wilkos is..look him up.

Ch.11 The New Steve Wilkos

A few minutes had passed over the hot hot hot brawl between Mia and Dahlia. Dahlia had come around and was now sitting on the ground.

"...MIIAAAAA FEEEEYYYYYYY..." she said still pissed.

But Edgeworth had more rage than that.

Huffing and puffing, his were cheeks a flaming crimson. Containing his anger he balled his hands into fists, and marched over to Dahlia.

"Wow. I haven't seen Edgeworth this pissed since that time someone called him ugly." chuckled Phoenix.

"Yeah. Or that time we spit luggies at him in school!" said Larry howling with laughter.

"Oh yeah!" laughed Phoenix slapping his knee.

"Hm. This is interesting I don't recall seeing my brother this mad ever." comment Franziska smirking.

"Really? Never?" asked Phoenix.

"Phoenix Wright, I once poured wine all over his beloved and foolish attire, and he wasn't this enraged." she said cracking her whip.

'Hm,' thought the attorney. 'And, he really does love his suits. Maybe he has a wardrobe full of the same suit, so he just didn't care if it were stained."

"I want to ask you one thing." said Edgeworth as he approached Dahlia.

She rolled her eyes to the back of her head. "What?"

"What the hell did you do to them?" screeched Edgeworth.

"I didn't do anything," she shrugged her shoulders. "They hate me because I'm beautiful."

Edgeworth anger meter was off the Richter scale now.

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULL! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU DID TO THEM TO HAVE THEM COME ALL THIS WAY FOR REVENGE!"

Dahlia looked up towards the sky, recalling all of her misdeeds. "Well, I betrayed Feenie and almost killed him, I poisoned that coffee loving idiot, disturbed Mia Fey, and almost killed Maya Fey...I'm forgetting other things I know."

She stopped mid in thought.

"Oh, yeah I tricked an idiot prisoner, killed my step sister, and I'm pretty sure I killed some other guy. And stole some stuff."

Edgeworth was appalled.

"What was your reasoning to all of this?"

"Because I could." she smirked.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Wrong with me? I'm fine. What's wrong with you?"

"GRRRR...I COULD BE DOING PAPER WORK, GOING ON A VACATION, SHOPPING, DRINKING TEA, OR DOING ANYTHING ELSE RATHER THAN SITTING HERE IN HELL, BECAUSE OF YOU! WASTE. WHAT A WASTE OF FREAKIN LIFE!

All Dahlia did in reply was that annoying smirk.

And that was it. Edgeworth snapped. His balled up fist loosen and raised up. He whipped his hand up and smacked Dahlia across the face without thinking.

Dahlia stood stunned, red mark appearing on her left cheek. Everyone else was stunned too.

"Miles...you make your older sister proud." Franziska said with a genuine smile.

Mia and Godot stopped making out once they heard the "Smack!" sound.

"M-Mr. Edgeworth!" said Mia in disbelief.

"I never knew Frills, had it in him. Especially to hit a woman. But then again she isn't even a woman..." Godot said pulling out his specialized coffee.

Phoenix and Larry just stood with their mouthes hanging in a perfect O shape. Oh yeah, his mentally state was long gone...

"Y-you bastard! How dare you hit me! A Lady!"

"....I don't hit women. You are no woman. YOU ARE A FREAKIN MONSTER!"

Dahlia opened her mouth in shock. She folded her arms.

"You don't deserve to sit down. Stand up."

Dahlia snorted. "Stand up? Please."

"I said stand up."

"And if I don't?"

Edgeworth forcefully pulled Hawthorne up by the arm.

"Let's have a chat." said Edgeworth mood completely changing.

"Chat? After what you just did?" she shook her head.

Edgeworth ignored her. "Has there ever been a time in your life, when you haven't been a total bitch?"

Dahlia was speechless. "..." She began to fume.

"OOHH SALTED!" yelled Larry.

"How was your life before crime?" asked Edgeworth who had been tapping the back of papers that appeared to cue cards.

Dahlia had recovered from the shock of being deemed a bitch. "Why the hell would I tell you?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see what type of past you've had that lead to all of this." he said matter of fact.

Dahlia grunted. "My mother wanted to be Master of the Kurain technique, but her spiritual powers were crap and her sister got that role. Dad, was only there for the cash and fame if she'd become Master. So he took me and my sister. I stayed with him and my sister went to some temple. He was a detestable man..and my mother was selfish too. Because of that I started formulating my first acts, theft, murder, and pinning it on someone else."

Edgeworth starred at her. "Are you saying that you went down a path of self destruction because of that? Your family sucked?"

"That's the story." said Dahlia folding her shoulders again.

"What a load of bull! Oh boo whoo my Daddy sucks and Mommy is selfish! Bull crap! This doesn't drive people to murder!" he said yelling at her.

"Wow this is better than tv." said Larry.

"My life sucks a lot more than yours did! I should be a murderer. And if I were one I'd kill you first!"

Dahlia was becoming more angry by the minute. "I don't need a preacher!"

"You don't care at all, I know that. I'm just glad you're suffering here." smirked Edgeworth using his finger to tap his right temple. "And I'm making sure you'll suffer more."

"Hmph." she said in reply.

"GET OFF MY STAGE!" yelled Edgeworth doing the famous finger point.

Dahlia glared at him and walked away.

Then Edgeworth motioned Harold to come over and whispered something in his ear. Harold smirked. "Oh, yes that can be arranged."

"My work here is done...horrible bitch." Edgeworth muttered, as he walked over to the rest of the group.

Everyone edged away from him.

"Edgeworth?" asked Phoenix from a very safe distance. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine..."

In a matter a minutes a bulldozer pulled up.

"Why is that here?"

"Oh, you'll see." said Edgeworth smiling slightly.

The bulldozer came up and rammed Dahlia's crappy house from behind. Everyone watched as the whole house shattered into pieces.

"AHH! MY HOUSE!" shreiked Dahlia. "YOU BASTARD! YOU SET THIS UP, DIDN'T YOU!!?"

Edgeworth merely bowed. "But that's not all...what else has she won Harold?"

"She's just won a new house in the next lower level of hell!"

"GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR............"

"BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" yelled Harold in an announcer like voice. "TODAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CLOTHES!"

Harold ran over to Dahlia, and stripped her of her dirty brown sack she donned as clothing. Leaving her clad in undergarments.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dahlia screamed. Her hair flew in different directions, her eyes went white, and flames and lightning bolts appeared in the background.

"Now you know what it's like to be exposed and put in another bad position..." said Edgeworth shaking his head and smirking.

"YOUUUU....."

"My act is done. Carry on, Wright. In some way I found that slightly amusing..."

"Well...that....that....was...wow. Who would like to go next...?" questioned Phoenix.

"Phoenix Wright, I shall go next. This presents itself as another challenge to defeat my little brother!" Franz said cracking her whip multiple times.

"Oh God." said Phoenix placing his hand to his forehead.

To be connnnnnnnttttttiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnueeddddd.


End file.
